she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
