do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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