He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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