You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize