I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
They are going to name an STD after you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
