Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
