pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
