If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
