dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
