brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
