Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
