My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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