I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
