She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
