First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
