"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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