I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
