We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize