you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
