we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
