I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
