Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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