I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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