Pappa wants mamma naked
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
