the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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