everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
