Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize