I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
