Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
