so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
