And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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