She said her name was "party"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
As shirtless as possible
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
