This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
