So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
