Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize