We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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