Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
