I want to make a zoo with you.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
