my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
