Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
