just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
