He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
