They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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