Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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