i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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