What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
