I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
