Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
