Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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