it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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