So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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