I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
