can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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