beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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