He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize