i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you had me at cake vodka
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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