Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
accomplished twins. life is a go
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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