so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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