i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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