Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize