just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
