So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
