Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
