I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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