dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
