I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
cat food counts as protein by the way
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
