I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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