But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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