HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
