if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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