every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
COCAINE IS GR8
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
