Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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