I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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