New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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