We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
